This is a Blog, I guess!

January 2024 Musings…

It's hard to stay committed to things, especially the things that feel gritty. But it's even hard for us to stay committed to things that we know are really good for us... right?  

When it comes to having a consistent Yoga practice, even though we know it is good for us, it can be difficult to keep showing up. Why? Why is it difficult to come back to the mat consistently? I think there are many reasons like life get's busy, and hard, and we dip our toes in other things, or get an injury or are debilitated with grief or a diagnosis. We see wars and climate change happening and we wonder "what's the point", or we get stuck into a big work project or family stuff... basically things change ALL THE TIME and we can't control that (trust me, I've tried). But there is a point to practicing.... I promise there's a point. 

I think it's also worth mentioning here that it's not always hard to be on the mat. I want to acknowledge those of you who are feeling really great about it all right now AND those of you who have had moments, or years of feeling great about all the yoga stuff. I mean, sometimes we are on a roll, we have a set routine, we are inspired and killin' it at yoga. Think about the time when a teacher you adore taught the best sequence ever, and it was "just what you needed"... Or that time you rolled your mat out in front of the ocean, or in the forest, or the early morning sun salutations when the temperature was perfect and there were no mosquitos around. Well, we get attached to those feelings, don't we? And then we often try to re-create them, and when we can’t… we lost trust and faith in the practice. Now, there’s no doubt that we all need those moments and classes from time to time... But let me ask you this. What happens when that class, or that morning on your mat under the sky finishes? Do you get in the car to drive away from class and become frustrated with other drivers quickly? What happens when you step off your mat and into a conflict at home? Does the feeling fade? Or is it sustained. How long can you stay calm in chaos? Are you able to respond when you are triggered? Or are you reactive.

There’s no right answer to those above questions they are simply there as a barometer for the efficacy of your practice. Let’s be honest, we most likely won’t be calm in the chaos all of the time at least not in this life time…. but if our practice isn’t moving us towards that… what is it moving us towards?

I do believe our mat is both a landing pad and a launch pad. First, it is a place for us to land, regardless of what we are going through. A place for us to roll around or do nothing at all but lay down and breathe and be received exactly as we are. To enjoy the sun as we salute it and to be grateful for that teacher who seemingly planned the class “just for us”…. But our mat is also a place that allows us to transform, radically. It’s a rubber (or cork, or hemp) rectangle that launches us into a whole new worldview and understanding of who we are. It encourages us to expand (inward) and connect to the part of us that is more refined, intentional, purposeful, clear, calm and vibrant. This transformation happens through tapas (skilful discipline). Tapas is learning to be more comfortable in discomfort. It is a willingness to lean into the sticky stuff. It creates subtle heat in the body/mind which purifies our personality by slowly shining light on, and then shaving away the [mental] afflictions that keep us attached to our “I - story” and the stuff that puts us on defence so quickly. Tapas transforms the aspects of us that keep us stuck in our rigid thinking patterns, conditioned behaviours and emotional reactions.

We don’t transform in our comfort zone. We all know this.

Many of us get attached the idea that every practice should feel good but what's interesting is that actually, in order for our yoga practice to mature, and for us to experience the deeper psycho-spiritual benefits that become self-sustaining, we have to move beyond doing practices that feel good 'in the moment' and towards practices and techniques that are more [mentally] uncomfortable.

The idea that Yoga should be comfortable, isn’t exactly the idea. The idea is that Yoga should eventually feel like finding comfortability within the discomfort. It is about finding a comfortable seat within self, being comfortable in your own skin, being comfortable with WHO, YOU, ARE…. The quest is to become comfortable, within the discomfort.

Now, all this “discomfort” stuff should come with a caution. Doing practices or postures or sequences that are obnoxiously hard or beyond your preparedness is not what I'm saying to do and is not advisable. Holding your breath for 10 seconds with a handful of Bandhas, it not necessarily advisable…. Remember that traditionally, Yoga was taught systematically as in step by step. In the Astanga Vinyasa tradition, your teacher observes you, day in and day out, and only gives you the next posture when they genuinely feel that you are ready. Until they see you are ready physically, emotionally, and mentally, and that it is safe for you to receive the next posture, you stay with the sequence you have. In the 8 limbs, the suggestion is to master the Yamas (controls) and Niyamas (commitments) first, then the asanas, so you can sit comfortably and still before moving into the more subtle practices of formal Prathyahara, Dharana, Dhyana, and Samadhi. Now, things are different. We have access to it all, and we do a lot of stuff before we are really ready. We as teachers, teach stuff, before it’s fully ours to teach… But if we as sadhakas (practitioners) could come to the mat with upmost humility, and genuinely practice consistently with devotion, there is no doubt that over time we would refine what we have learned, master it, and be prepared for the next stage of Yoga. This systematic approach was implemented for a reason, to protect practitioners and the Tradition.

Now, I got side tracked there…. But what I am saying is that, our practice isn’t (and shouldn’t) always [be] comfortable. Sthiram Sukham Asanam - get physically steady & calm your mind so you’re in a good, sustainable space in the Asana. Sometimes we make excuses. We don't want to do the hard work. We don't want to hold the posture. We certainly don’t want to hold our arms out in warrior 2 for 10 breaths or do the 5th drop-back or… the hardest one for so many of us…. take the option to rest in Childs pose... Our mind resists so many things, it’s incredible! But by steading our body, relaxing our mind, and leaning into uncomfortable moments, we learn to accept the totality of our experiences, control ourselves and our emotions, and receive instead of resist life. When we participate the spirit of skilful Tapas (discipline), we can truly experience the potency and promise of the practice. We stop making excuses, we stop getting in our own way, we stop judging and being critical of ourselves and others, we open our hearts and find our centre, calm and quieten our mind, get in touch with our inner teacher and express our purpose. Sounds like a pretty nice time.

Still with me? Awesome. Let's cycle back a bit....  Why do we resist stillness? Firstly, we were conditioned to be on the move, to be busy, to achieve.... and our bodies? Well, they were designed to move too. Being still goes against the grain our human existence (prakriti) but being still, gives us a chance to connect with the infinitely peaceful spirit aspect of us (purusha). On the way there, prakrit protests. This is because when we are still, we have less to entertain/ distract us. When we are asked to stop and be with ourselves and our feelings, we wiggle - don't we!!! and have a tendency to want to, or to actually run away. But Yoga asks us to control ourselves. To sit in it, to discern. To steady our body, to calm our breath, and turn our senses inward. It forces us to sit (metaphorically and literally) face-to-face with our own mind. To get all up-close-and-personal with our personality. And yeah, ALL of it can be wildly uncomfortable.

So let's go there. Let's get more comfortable within the uncomfortable together. 

How? You guessed it  - DOING THE PRACTICE.

But I get it, some days it's easy to self-motivate and to do the work and other days it's just not. I know for me there are times when all I want to do is practice at my own pace in my own space, and other times when I am desperate to hear the words fall effortlessly out of my teachers mouths and to have the subtle support of other people just by being in the room and simultaneously doing the work too. I feel blessed to have had, and to still have many incredible teachers throughout my years of practice who have held space for me to be with me... and I choose to teach yoga in hopes that I might be that person for someone else.